Today is the day! It’s surgery day! The day I cut out 2/3rds of my stomach and start a new life. I’m excited for my new life to begin and also a tiny bit nervous about cutting out a good chunk of one of my organs just so I can lose weight. I’ve lost 12 pounds on the bariatric surgery liquid pre op diet and of course that gets me wondering why I don’t just continue doing the liquid diet and lose all the weight I want to lose without surgery.
I mean, let’s face it, there’s no going back once the surgery has been done. They cannot put my stomach back to the way it was. The changes will be permanent.
And that worries me because I have been denying myself food for the last two weeks and I want nothing more than a rare hamburger or some shrimp scampi. I’d settle for a bowl of cottage cheese. Anything but more protein drinks and popsicles!
I want peanut butter, what if I can’t ever have peanut butter again?
Instead of getting myself into panic about what I will never be able to eat again (odds are there is nothing I won’t be able to eat again, just shit I shouldn’t eat again and even that can be in moderation), I decide to focus on my goals which are to wear a leather jacket I haven’t been able to wear in years, and be able to all the things I want to do like swim, bike ride and hike for longer than an hour if I choose. I will not be doing an 5ks or 10ks or any other kind of marathon running.
Not on my bucket list at all.
Wish me luck that this sleeve gastrectomy goes well, that the anesthesiologist wakes me up and that I don’t have to stay in the hospital for more than two nights.
See you on the other side!