Ugh, keeping up a weight loss or fitness blog is difficult when you aren’t losing weight and losing weight has been nearly impossible it seems!
I keep losing the same two or three pounds each week. Over and over again. It’s so frustrating that I end up giving up. I’m not sitting on the couch eating Oreos watching reality TV yet (I’m still kicking ass on my Fitbit with over 15k each day) but there are days I just want to stop thinking about losing weight or getting in my steps.
I keep track of what I eat, though not as well as I probably should. I do know that when I do I’m much more accountable and question if I need that extra piece of string cheese or handful of Wheat Thins (I don’t).
With the holidays here I figure I’ll just wait until January 1, 2016 to take the diet bull by the horns because really, there’s just too much great eating happening during the last few weeks of the year.
But, that’s bullshit.
And, it’s exactly what I said last year, and the year before and the year before.
And the year before that.
It’s another year later and I’m not closer to my goal because… I don’t know why.
I’ve started seeing a therapist in the hopes that maybe we can get to the root of why I’m fat. I’ve been seeing her for a few months now and we’ve barely even talked about food or diet. It might be a long process. I do know that food is comforting for me, it makes me feel good, possibly loved. If I could find something that made me feel as good as eating food I could probably lose some weight.
I have considered bariatric surgery but I’m just not there yet. My neighbor had it early this year and she looks amazing, I think she’s lost close to 100 lbs from bariatric surgery in just a year. However, she gets really sick if she over eats just a little. I’m not ready for that yet.
So, the struggle continues. Stay tuned, I promise it won’t be another six months until the next time I update.