Bariatric Surgery Journey Continues
I just finished my ultra sound appointment down at the hospital. It was pretty uneventful. There are signs all over the room saying the technician is unable to give results and yet I still asked.
She didn’t answer.
I also had my initial sleep study appointment to find out if I need a sleep study. Apparently they give one to everyone considering bariatric surgery so I get one. I was hoping to be able to get the kit and do it at home but they want me to come to the clinic for the sleep study. I’m actually looking forward to it, I might get some sleep without the cat there to wake me up every few hours.
I’m working on chewing these days. God, it’s hard to chew until your food is the consistency of apple sauce. It’s also rather unappealing and I end up losing interest in my meal long before I’m finished. I have noticed I’ve put off eating until I’m really hungry because I don’t want to chew so much.
I’m still having trouble with no water during a meal or right before or after. I simply forget more than anything. I have to really make an effort to remember to think before shoving food in my mouth.
I had my first appointment with the psychologist. He’s nice enough, very thorough. He went over exactly what is to be expected at each appointment and then gave me some homework which is basically if I chew properly, eat in a calm place, practice the 30/30 rule etc. Next appointment I take the MMPI and QOLI and then the following week we talk about the surgery and then the last week we go over the results from the test. He will tell me at that appointment if he is going to recommend I have the surgery.
I’m not sure how I feel about all of this. I’m excited and yet I’m nervous. That stupid voice is still in my head telling me that if I would just get with the program I could lose weight without going to such an extreme.
I also find I’m nervous about the actual surgery. I’ve had plenty of surgeries before and have never been nervous about them. I have to believe that I’m nervous about this one because it is optional. I am choosing to have this surgery so if anything goes wrong I was foolish for being so selfish? I’m not sure. I mentioned this to my therapist and she suggested that was a silly way to think about it since if I don’t have the surgery I will likely die earlier and have all kinds of complications and risk factors as I get older and continue to gain weight.
I’ve been off the Diet Crack for over a month now. I still want it, but I’ve been drinking mineral water instead and it’s ok. I realize I’m going to have to quit that too since it is carbonated. I don’t think it’s going to be so bad to stop drinking it since I don’t really like it that much.
I’m still having my glass of wine at night. I know I need to cut it out too, but right now I want to get through quitting my beloved Diet Coke first.